I have been writing this blog for about three years now, and so far all my articles have been about self improvement; how the earn more money, how to acquire more success, etc. But after taking some time to think I realized that during most of my life I have been a failure and that I am better qualified to share my knowledge on how to be a failure than how to be a success.
Here are my secrets on how to be a failure:
It’s all about your mental attitude. You have to have a Negative Mental Attitude. If you have a negative mental attitude you are half way there. Just close your eyes and imagine the worst case scenario for everything. Whether you think about love or business, if you imagine the worst case scenario, there is a good probability that it come true.
But it’s not all about your mind. It is also about your body. Do you know how difficult it is to eat healthy? All that organic food is expensive. Any kind of natural smoothie will cost you between $5 to $10 and many of them taste horrible. Instead you can buy a liter of Coke for for about $1. And who wants to spend time preparing healthy salads when you can have Doritos with Salsa. There are a lot of nutrients there. All those cheap meals have lots of calories you need to survive, they are accessible, and let’s face it… they taste good.
How about some exercise? Physical activity is painful. Just stay on your couch. You will be safe there. I have broken my jaw practicing karate, I have damaged my ligaments lifting weights. Even physical activities like dancing salsa can be dangerous. I met this guy who broke his partner’s nose while dancing salsa. Just stay on your couch — you will not get hurt.
What about your friends? Motivational speaker Jim Rhon says that “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” So I choose my friends carefully. I try to find friends who are dumber than me, that way I can always feel like the smart one.
And last but not least: Procrastination. Always leave the important things for the last minute. That way, if you fail, if you do a horrible job, you can always use the excuse that you did it all at the last minute.
Good luck being a failure, please write back and let me know how it turned out for you.