When I got married, my ex-wife and I spent under $3,000.  We used the dance floor of our dance school as the venue for the ceremony and the reception. And we went to the restaurant downstairs for dinner.

For the ceremony, we had about 50 people, our family, and closest friends, and for the reception, we invited many friends from our dancing community.

Here is a video of our first dance:

 The $1,000 wedding

Fast forward 11 years later…

One of the things that I do to make a living is freelance photography.

I put an advertisement in Craiglist under “Affordable Wedding Photographer” and I get a lot of gigs from that ad. As you can imagine from the title of the ad, the couples who call me are couples who are looking for an affordable photographer. They don’t want to spend the $1,000 to $2,000 regular price for a photographer.

Side note: I wanted to advertise my photography service at Wedding Wire, a marketplace for wedding services, and they told me they would only allow me to advertise if I increased my prices to $1,500. I believe the wedding industry artificially increases the prices for everything wedding-related, they play on the emotional strings of the consumer.

Another side note. My ex-wife and I were looking for flowers. The lady at the counter showed us some nice flowers. Then we mentioned that we were planning to have some flowers for the wedding. And guess what happened??? As soon as she heard the word “wedding” she increased the price. We said, “no thank you.”

Going back to our subject: Last month I went to the least expensive wedding I have ever seen in my life. The couple invited only their closest friends and family members (and me). They got married at the office of the notary (the notary gives them about one hour to hang out in a place that looks like a living room), and then everyone went to eat at a restaurant.

Here is how the cost of their wedding broke down.

• The bride rented the dress. Under $200
• The ceremony was held at the notary’s office: $350
• They hired an affordable photographer from Craigslist (me): $150
• They ate at a regular restaurant: $200 for the bride and groom (including a bottle of Champagne). The guests paid for their own plates and drinks. It’s funny how the guests drink less alcohol when they are paying than when the wedding couple is paying.
• They paid for only one bouquet of flowers: less than $100
• Miscellaneous: $200

Altogether the wedding cost about $1,000. Congratulations. I am so happy and proud of you.

The cost of a typical wedding

From what I have read in several publications, for 2018:

The typical cost of a for a wedding is $35,000 USD

The typical price of wedding bands and the engagement ring is about $6,000.

So far the price of the wedding and rings is about $41,000. Think of all the things you could do with $41,000.

• You could put the money away for retirement. If you invest it at 8%, for 40 years, you will have $868,000.
• You could use it as down payment for your house.
• You could use it to take a one-year honeymoon.

Why do we spend so much money on weddings?

Why not do something more simple? More sustainable? Why is love equated with the amount of money spent?

Let’s face it. It’s ridiculous to spend that kind of money for a wedding. Most people can not afford it. They go into debt and they don’t even have fun. They are so stressed and preoccupied with the smooth flow of the event that they don’t get a chance to enjoy the food, the alcohol, nor the company of their friends and family.

Not too long ago, I was photographing another big event (similar to a wedding). The next day, after the host was able to open all the envelopes that were given as gifts, he told me: “Mmmm… The amount of money received was not even close to the cost of the food.”

If you are expecting the gifts to compensate for your expenses:

1.  You will be disappointed.
2. You will make your less affluent guests feel bad for not being able to afford more.
3. Some of your friends will decline the invitation because they cannot afford it. When I was in college, a classmate sent me an invitation to her wedding. She discretely let me know that the plate was $60. I politely refused. I said that I had to study for some final exam. I was too embarrassed to tell her I didn’t have $60 to spend on the meal.

In today’s world, most couples are getting married later on in life, many of them are already living together. Surely they have better use for the money than spending $35,000 in one night.

How to get married on a budget

Do NOT buy a diamond wedding ring

Diamond wedding rings cost about $6,000. They also cost immense environmental damage and they are the cause of many human rights violations in third world countries. See the trailer for the movie Blood Diamond.

To get these diamonds mining companies create soil erosion, deforestation forced local populations to relocate, and none of the money goes towards the local economy.  Next time you see a beautiful diamond ring on someone’s finger, think of all the ecological damage done to dig that stone out of the ground.

Consider buying cubic zirconia. Your hundreds of Facebook friends will not know the difference between zirconia and a diamond. Think of how much more fun you could have with your spouse spending that money on other things. Here is one zirconia ring from Amazon for about $25 CAN.

Look for a free venue

I live in Montreal and I have seen many times people getting married in the Month Royal Mountain ou at Park LaFontaine. The cost of that is $0. I am sure that there are other free public parks in every city. If a park is not possible, try any other public space. At one time I saw a wedding at a metro station. I am sure you have seen a wedding in public places too.

Don’t spend much on flowers

You only need one bouquet of flowers, the bride’s bouquet. You don’t need to buy flowers for everyone else. When you go to the flower shop, don’t tell them that it’s for a wedding. Somehow, when you mention the word “wedding,” everything becomes more expensive.

The dress

For the bride. You have two options.

1. Rent a dress. There are many bride dress rental shops in almost all big cities. This can cost you $100-$200.
2. Buy a dress that you can use for other occasions. Something you can use for other weddings, shows, etc. As you can see from the video on top, my ex-wife bought a dress that she could use again some other time.

Please, don’t buy the standard $5,000 to $10,000 dress. You will only be using it for a few hours. It’s not worth it.

For the groom. Buy an elegant suit which you will be able to use for other occasions. I have used my wedding suit hundreds of time. It’s still usable 11 years later.

The food

The best option is to meet at a local restaurant. Talk to the owner and ask him/her to reserve a section of the restaurant for you. Also, ask for a group discount. If the owner of the restaurant refuses, tell them that you will take your business somewhere else. At one time in my life, I used to organize parties at local restaurants and the owner would give me a 10%-15% kick-back for organizing the event at his/her restaurant.  All the guests will be responsible for paying for their own food and alcohol. (Side note: Choose a restaurant with some vegan options. I remember a time in which a vegan friend of mine was invited to a steak house. She didn’t have many eating options.)

Invitations

There are so many free electronic choices, I still have a hard time believing that people dedicate time and money doing paper invitations.

How about sending an RSVP invitation by email. There are many email applications which allow you to do this. The total cost. $0.

The Officiant

If you can get a friend to do it for free, this is very cool. Your friend will have to get a permit to conduct the ceremony, but if he/she does it, that would be the nicest wedding gift ever.

If you don’t have a friend willing to do it. Shop on price. All officiants have a standard legal wording to use. It doesn’t change from one officiant to the other. Why pay more when it doesn’t make any difference who is the face behind the wording. Try to keep it under $200. Be willing to pay more if they provide a place to hang out after the vows have been exchanged.

Music

If after dinner you go to your house, or your parent’s or anyone’s place to hang out, ask some of your friends to send you their favorite songs. Put them on a playlist and make them play in random order.

Another alternative is to use Spotify, Google Play, Apple play, or any of the other music subscriptions package out there.

Photographer

1. Designate one of your friends as the official photographer. Most smartphones have high-quality cameras. Even less expensive power-shot cameras do a fantastic job.

2. If you don’t feel comfortable asking your friend to be a photographer, then hire someone for $20/hour and tell him/her to take pictures all night long. Don’t hire a $1,000-$2,000 photographer. I am sure they are great artists but the benefit you will get is marginal compared with the cost.

3. Crowdsource the photos. Create a Google album where all your guest will be able to upload the photos they took during the wedding. This can be done in 5 minutes with a Gmail account.

4. If you live in Montreal, I do photography for $25/hour.

Conclusion

The wedding is for YOU, it’s supposed to make you happy and it’s supposed to be within your means. The people invited are your friends and family who are special to you and who love you for who you are. You are not trying to impress anyone, you are just trying to have a great moment, to celebrate a special day with the people who are important in your life.

If ostentatious events are not something you value, then you should not be creating it. The wedding should reflect the real you. You don’t have to follow the same social script as everybody else. You can create your own narrative, with your own values and within your budget.

Some comments from my Facebook friends

Karina: My wedding was very private: only our close family. I really don’t remember about the budget, but I remember that my parents in law helped us a lot because the wedding was at their home.

Andrea (my daughter): Travel far where no one can make it, I had only 11 people at my wedding in Ibiza.

Annick: My wedding cost less than 1000$. We had 25 guests and it took place at a “table champêtre”, it was really great.

A question for you

Did you have a frugal wedding? can you talk about your experience in the comments? Thanks…

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3. 004 The Stock Market Decline

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