While it’s true that there can be more and less amicable divorces, none are fun experiences entered into for the sake of it. Even if the final breakup of a marriage is the healthiest arrangement for all parties involved (which it often can be), there still remains the question of the breakup of resources between two people. 

Sometimes, this can be fair. Sometimes, perhaps less so. While it’s true that certain priorities, the one-sided or shared custody of children for example, will of course take your most attention and be your highest aim, it’s fair to say that giving yourself the strongest case for a favorable financial outcome is desired. Putting it less diplomatically, no one wants their divorce to feel unfiar from a money perspective. 

This is why it’s most often recommended to find a reliable and helpful divorce attorney, one able to give you the best possible outcome without necessarily turning this agreement into a protracted battle. First and foremost, it’s important to follow any advice they give you. They’ve seen it all before, in cases much worse than yours, and they know how to limit the damage.

However, it’s also true that some helpful tips can generally apply to most divorce negotiations. Let’s consider how that will work:

Prove Your Own Payments & Income

Almost all divorce arrangements will need to start by providing proof of where your money has gone and where it’s coming from. Don’t try and pull the old trick that some have used where paperwork can vanish, or get conveniently “forgotten.” Keeping a clean, recent record of your bank statements, payslips, and tax returns gives your lawyer a much easier time arguing your case. It also shows you’re not trying to hide anything, which is a great way to be found out and have most of the further decisions go against you.

Now, it might be that your financial planning isn’t perfect. Sometimes poor organization can catch you out. That’s why talking to your legal representation about what you may need and putting all that together before you present your case is important. Then you can’t be accused of deliberately hiding anything.

Discuss Any Prior Financial Arrangements You Had

All marriages are unique in terms of how they manage their finances. It’s not uncommon that one of the partners managed the money side of things and the other person earned the main income. So, who should get the most in that divorce arrangement, then, when both parties were responsible?

Well, you can’t do anything other than state what you believe you’re entitled to and any arrangements you may have had in advance, making that clear to the judge. You may have had a loan from a parent to fund some of your financial matters, for example, and that needs to be discussed to make sure it can be paid back, according to the loan terms you agreed to. 

Unfortunately, You May Need To Make Concessions

The old stereotype of one person taking absolutely everything in a divorce isn’t necessarily the common truth at all. It can happen, especially if one party was at fault for the main part of the divorce, or if financial matters have been mismanaged. For example, if it turns out that one person willfully spent most of their income gambling and was abusive, then odds are, their statements of financial ownership are going to be less convincing.

It’s also true that sometimes, concessions are unavoidable, especially in matters you can’t split. Your partner might agree to pay off the rest of the car payments if it means they get to keep it, and if it was taken out in their name, then odds are they have a stronger case for it. That applies no matter how much you love the car. Perhaps you love a dog you both had, but your partner was responsible for their upkeep and purchased them entirely. While that’s not a financial matter strictly, it does give them a stronger case. The same can apply in your favor in similar cases, so don’t think all considerations are lost.

Advocate For Yourself Even In Unique Cases

It’s fine to advocate for yourself, and judges generally expect that to take place. An attorney will try to convince you to get as much as you can, especially if it means limiting the impact of other rulings about other elements of the divorce proceeding. This may be in areas you didn’t expect.

Of course, if you have a good understanding with your ex-partner and just want to split everything fifty-fifty, then that’s fine. But you have to be clear about where that line should be drawn, and it’s not always easy to agree on that. Some people might be willing to leave a house behind if it means they get most everything else. It really depends on your situation, but advocating for yourself as much as possible to keep your new life going is worthwhile.

Negotiate In Good Faith

You can’t expect to come away with everything in a divorce. Unfortunately, that’s the risk you take when binding your life and finances to another person, which is an act of trust in the future. You may have a thorough prenuptial arrangement, and that has its own unique quirks which your lawyer can guide you through.

As a baseline principle, however, negotiating in good faith and being willing to make minor concessions can help this process go a lot more smoothly. Also, you often just have to accept the necessary payments that few people can ignore. For example, if you have children and your partner is going to be looking after them most of the time, then child support payments will be calculated without your say-so and that’s something you’re obligated to pay for. Still, good faith discussion allows you to be at the centre of those discussions as opposed to just having them thrown at you. It’s a much healthier place for both parties.

With this advice, we hope you can more easily consider the strongest financial case for yourself in any divorce, without ruining your case or causing more disagreement and difficulty than is possible. And if your ex-partner is unreasonsable, then at least you have good representation to fight your case. It may even end up paying for itself.